ELEANOR: I want to remind you that this is a safe space...
...and the purpose of this exercise...
...is for you to acknowledge the truth of your experiences.
Raise your hand if you've ever had a sexual relationship with someone at work.
Okay-
Raise your hand if you've ever slept with your boss.
If you're not sure if the man you're thinking of is your boss or not...
...but you are sure you screwed him, raise your hand.
Okay-
Next week, we'll try that with your eyes open.
[III]
WOMAN 1: Hi. WOMAN 2: All she wants to do is sing...
...from the moment she wakes up.
WOMAN 3: You must be exhausted. WOMAN 4: Same time next week?
We alternate between here and my friend's apartment one floor up.
Let me introduce you.
ELEANOR: Hi. Eleanor. ARIANA: Ariana.
WOMAN 5: Would you like some? - Let me rescue you from your staring.
You might start making people uncomfortable.
I've just never been a part of something like this before.
- How are you? - Good. Thanks.
Okay-
Did you talk to Lenny about the diaphragm?
I called my doctor, and I'm getting a new one, so--
No.
I couldn't talk to Lenny.
I just couldn't.
I've never been married...
...but I guess I thought you could talk to your husband about everything.
- Again, I wouldn't know. - Yeah. No. Heh, heh.
She's terrifying.
CINDY: Who is she? NORA: Eleanor Holmes Norton.
She's an attorney from the ACLU.
She drops in on these meetings to wake women up, so she says.
- How do you ladies know each other? - We work together.
- At News of the Week. - Ahh. Fancy publication.
Yeah. It's fun. No day is ever the same as the next.
Oh, I wasn't as taken with it. I quit.
- Why? - They don't let women write.
We do write files for the reporters to help them with their stories.
So is that the role that you want?
Being of service to men?
It's the tradition there.
You know what else was a tradition? Separate water fountains.
It's not like that.
If women aren't allowed the same kinds of jobs as men, that's illegal.
- Illegal? - Yes.
Ladies.
Circle back up for our final exercise.
Oh, and please bring your compacts.
We're going to be celebrating our beautiful bodies by looking at our vulvas.
I think I'm gonna go.
- I'm gonna come with you. - Okay.
You ladies have a case. I want to talk to you more about it.
Did she just say "vulva"?
[III]
[CAR HORN HONKS]
[III]
♪ Just like a buzzin' fly I'
♪ I come into your life' ♪
♪ I float away Like honey in the sun I
♪ Was it right or wrong I couldn't sing that song anyway I
♪ Oh, but darlin' Now I remember ♪
♪ How the sun shown down h'
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
- Who is it? MARYBETH: It's me, Patti. Open up.
Marybeth?
Oh, my God.
[KNOCK ON DOOR THEN MARYBETH CHUCKLES]
Come on.
Hi, sissy.
- Hi. - Oh, my gosh.
Hey, you two look adorable.
We got engaged.
[CHUCKLES]
Look at that stardust.
Yes, we were at Rockefeller Plaza just now. He got down on one knee.
I was down there for about 45 minutes before she could answer.
Everyone was clapping. It was so special, Patti.
Oh, wow.
I had to come and tell you before anyone else.
I'm so glad you did.
I'm so surprised.
I'm happy. I'm happy for you. Of course I'm happy for you.
- I'm so happy for you. Oh. - Thank you.
We have so much to do in a few weeks.
- Let's just enjoy it tonight. - Wait. Why so fast?
I go off to basic in February.
I didn't know you enlisted.
MARYBETH: Yeah, his number was drawn at the lottery.
- Yeah, on television two nights ago. - I watched it, but they didn't say names.
Randy, I'm so sorry.
Um, heh.
RANDY: It's okay. - Take off your coats.
- Are you hungry? You want food? - We can't stay.
Yeah. My hazard lights are on down at the curb, so we should--
- I'm sorry. I'm sorry. - Okay.
But come home tomorrow.
You Mom's making a huge dinner. It'll be fun.
I have to work.
But I'll try to figure something out.
- We should get going. - Hey.
Thank you for coming to tell me in person.
That means a lot.
It's just dinner, if you can stand it.
I can stand it.
It would mean a lot to me, and you haven't been home in months.
I'll be there.
[III]
[CHATTERING]
MAN: You know, thank God you changed it.
I was starting to see polka dots. It was like a circus.
The Feds say they're responding proportionately to threats.
Hoover wants millions of dollars and a big bump in manpower.
My source tipped me to an item in the new budget under domestic surveillance.
- It was buried. - Dig up that damn grave.
How are they justifying the ask?
Hoover's guys point to crime stats in big cities.
Bullshit. Which kinds of crime? What cities?
While you're up their ass...
...find out if they're buying new wiretap gadgets.
I love the G-man equipment. Ralph, you're on Altamont follow.
Make sure Rolling Stone knows we're not backing down on coverage.
You got it.
Wick?
Wick, are you in there?
I'm sorry, but there's a phone call.
Wick?
You better have the fucking ghost of JFK on the phone.
It's Mamie.
Goddamn it.
Sam, your exit interview with the Fed chairman. How are we?
There's nothing I don't know about the recession...
...or deposit ceiling rates of interest.
My bond trader buddies tell me Martin's defending the gold standard...
...despite Nixon's objections.
There's no rationale for the gold standard anymore.
It's magical thinking. Get him to admit that, you'll have a story.
You know...
...Martin and I played in a charity golf tournament.
He's not funny. "Just the facts" kind of guy...
...who knows the whole world hangs on his every word.
I speak for Jews when I say that's who I want in charge of my money.
Newbie's got a sense of humor.
- When's the sit-down? - Four.
FINN: Let me know how that goes. And don't sweat it.
Martin's only one of the smartest men on planet Earth. You'll be fine.
Thank you, boys. Meeting is adjourned.
Uh. Mamie Eisenhower's bloomers are in a bunch...
...because she did not get her Sunday copy of the magazine.
Finn, you had me take her off, unless I'm mistaken.
I thought I was in charge of the Sunday Night List.
Yes, but I wanted to add somebody.
When I add somebody, I take somebody off. Keeps it special.
- Who did you add? - Kirk Douglas.
Kirk Douglas.
So we bump a former first lady...
...and the widow of the finest military mind of our era...
...for a Hollywood pretty boy?
Our Sunday Night List is...
...the 40 most powerful decision makers and influencers.
Mamie is the relic of a dead president.
Finn, he sells popcorn.
I admire his success, his taste, and his wife.
He's the only man in America I can say that about.
[LAUGHS]
Pardon me.
[CLEARS THROAT]
How was the story meeting?
We're doing a piece on the FBI upping their domestic surveillance.
Who are they surveilling?
The bad guys.
What am I doing here?
Oh.
Are you okay?
No.
My little sister got engaged.
It's not as scary as domestic surveillance, but it still freaks me out.
- Is the guy a jerk? - No.
He's from our neighborhood. Randy. He's a wrestler.
- All state, actually. - Yeah? What weight class?
- That's not the point. - Then what is the point?
She's only 18.
And she's never been outside of our town.
She doesn't know what her choices are.
And now she's gonna get married...
...and be of service to a high school wrestler.
You know, my parents got married at 18.
They went to college together. They're still going strong.
You met my parents, right?
[III]
Oh. No. You didn't.
Okay. I knew that if I told you...
...I was going to San Francisco to get a story for Sam...
...you would have told me not to.
You have no idea what I would have said.
[III]
Ugh. Damn it.
This is not your toilet.
[GROWLS]
[GROANS]
I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Sorry. Thank you. Thank you.
[HORNS HONKING]
Oh, God. Sorry. I'm so sorry. Thank you. Thank you.
I did it. I looked down there.
And it did not make me feel beautiful. It made me feel not normal.
Do you know what normal looks like?
Well, I mean, I had an image in my mind...
...you know, but that image did not match what I saw down there.
I can't stop thinking about that woman from the ACLU.
- Oh, good morning. CINDY: Hi.
- Where are you going? - To run errands for Doug.
- Jane, have you looked at your vulva? - What? No. Patti. No. That is medical.
That is for my doctor.
- And my future husband. - Yeah.
- Wait a second. Jane, are you a virgin? - Mm-hm.
Ohh. I don't think that's a good idea.
- If it's what she wants. - It is what I want.
Jimi Hendrix wants you to be experienced for your--
I was a virgin when I got married.
I just looked at my vulva for the first time.
PATTI: Yeah. - Okay. We are at work.
But for the record, I am proud to know that my white wedding will not be a fraud.
For the record, you do other stuff, right?
- I did. - Well, I'm not frigid.
So, what do you do? Blowjobs?
- No. CINDY: Really?
- God, I did. PATTI: Hand jobs?
CINDY: You know, BJs always hurt my neck though.
I could never find a good angle.
- You use your hand at the same-- JANE: The two of you out please.
Go be crude somewhere else.
- Enjoy your vulva. JANE: Oh, Patti.
[GIGGLES]
[III]
My great thinkers, listen up, please.
I may regret this, but at the moment I'm interested in your nascent opinions.
Everyone on our musty Sunday Night List...
...is now officially up for grabs.
Who do we want to get our news first? Who's relevant?
Wick has a hard on for Mamie Eisenhower.
Jesus.
- Anybody? What do you got? - Brady, you sewed.
Talk some sense into this tenderfoot.
Sorry, chief, I'm a Stevenson man. I went to Princeton.
- What year? -'58.
Go, Tigers.
Does Jackie get a copy?
- Indefinitely. - How about Senator Russell?
All the congressional leadership, cabinet secretaries, Teddy Kennedy.
- All covered. - Even after Chappaquiddick?
He's a living Kennedy. How about Goldwater?
Ever since we put Mao on the cover, he won't touch us.
The Madame Mao centerfold was one of our best.
- Right you are, Jane. - Gil? Gil Hodges?
You're fired. I'm a Yankees fan.
[GROUP CHUCKLES]
He's joking. I think.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Joe Namath and not Johnny Unitas?
- Are you kidding me? - Good point. Scratch Namath.
- No. - Namath's a fox.
Well, the girls like their beefcake.
Beefcake Namath stays for the pit.
Thank you.
Thank you all for your valuable opinions, gentlemen and ladies.
[III]
- My questions for Chairman Martin. - Type them up?
Hey, this is not the poll I got. That's the poll I got.
[CHATTERING]
Gabe.
- Jane. - That's right.
I like your vest. You dress like my grandfather.
- Is that a...? - Compliment? Yes.
I admire my grandfather. He was very stylish.
Wick wants you to select a replacement for Nora.
They're all qualified girls.
Ahem. I feel the need to intercede here. Big opportunity, young man.
- He's picking a new girl today. - Let's see what we've got here.
They've been vetted by the agency and pie-approved by personnel.
Bernice Hafner types 50 words a minute. Had her cherry popped at the Dailies-.
MAN: Not possible. Only prudes work at the Dailies.
And they can all start by end of the day. Good luck.
Whoever you call, make sure she has dimples of Venus.
- What are those? - And are they contagious?
- Get her waist size. - What? No.
MAN: Get it.
Mm. "Is that a delicious peace offering?"
Why, Doug, I'm so glad you asked. Yes. Yes, it is.
This is your favorite pre-lunch second breakfast:
Two strips of crispy, never burned, bacon...
...and orange slices.
I know you're still mad that I stood you up...
...and that I helped Sam with his Altamont cover.
I understand you might need some more time to cool down from that.
- Still-- - If I may...
...you're doing really well right now.
Resist the urge to get the last word in.
Still, I'm ready, even eager, to move forward whenever you are.
Mmm.
- Thank you. - Mm.
How can I help?
[DOUG CLEARS THROAT]
This is last year's FBI budget. This is the new proposed one.
The Bureau's gross budget simply keeps up with inflation...
...which means the increase in counter-surveillance numbers..
...deprived some poor department of their funding.
- So who got the smaller piece of the pie? - Exactly.
That'll lead to who the Bureau considers a big enough threat to throw money at.
I'm looking at gear and materiel right now.
- Finn's hot for G-man equipment. - Good to know.
Why don't you compare staffing budgets?
Okay-
Mm, mm.
[HUMMING]
- Are you gonna hum while you chew? - Yes.
- But only as long as it bothers you. - Ah. Got it.
[CONTINUES HUMMING]
I'm gonna have to put you to work after lunch.
I am working right now. I've done six captions since I got here.
More work. I need you to sit while I adjust these fill lights.
- Sure. - I'm taking staff photos.
Oh, for award submissions?
Mm-hm.
Have you won lots of awards?
- I'm not gonna answer that. - That means that you have.
Did I tell you about the best staff photo ever taken?
No, but now I'm not gonna sit for you until you do.
I'll bring it tomorrow. It was this guy at the Post-Gazette...
...who had one ear he could make a few inches higher than the other.
At first, you don't know what's strange about this guy...
...and then it's the only thing you can see.
- Ha-ha. - He was cool.
He made the paper use that for the Pulitzer submission.
Our priest used to move his hairline.
Yeah, it looked like someone was just tugging on a wig.
- I want to see a priest do that. - Well, he died so...
Oh, sorry.
No. He's alive.
[CINDY CHUCKLES]
- Don't look into the sun. - Oh, God.
- Do not look directly into the sun. - Ahh. Ahh.
GABE: Denise, you have a beautiful speaking voice.
And your boss at The Star said you were a good girl.
You know what, it says here you're 25. Is that your age or your waist size?
[CHUCKLES]
You're honest. I like that.
Uh-huh.
So you have the address?
Okay. Well, then we'll see you this afternoon.
Bye-bye.
[CHATTERING]
I typed up the questions, starting with general present-day issues...
...and ending with Martin's goals for his legacy.
Where's the question on defense spending?
All post-war spending is on the second page. It's all there.
Are you nervous?
Try to get past the economics.
With the chairman of the Federal Reserve?
And unearth his private life.
You think that's the key to this?
My father says, "Get a man to talk about his family...
...and you'll end up hearing about his business."
And what is Daddy Hollander's advice...
...about how to get his daughter to go outwith me?
My brain hurts.
I never feel stiff until I see someone else stretching.
You need a break?
I just wish Randy hadn't been drafted. Because if he hadn't been drafted...
...I think that his relationship with Marybeth...
...would have run its course in a couple of months.
How do you know that?
Marybeth is so smart.
She's the smartest one of all of my sisters.
She would have thrived in college or art school.
She's an amazing artist.
They got her, Doug.
The sleepwalkers, they got her.
You told me no one's ever meeting your parents.
- Now I understand why. They're zombies. - No. No. They're human.
My mom makes dinner for my dad every night.
I don't think he knows how to work the appliances in the kitchen.
- What? Like the toaster? - No, like the...
...blender. I don't know. It's frustrating.
And if the grandkids are home, he'll just walk in, step over their toys.
But I have never, and I will never see my mom stop...
...and step over their toys. No. She will pick them up every time.
Maybe your dad figures he works all day.
He's done his job, and she is a homemaker.
That's her job.
But she didn't know that she had the choice to do anything else.
But Marybeth does.
And she's choosing to marry him.
I hate this. Okay?
You know who I hate?
Hoover.
Let's take him down.
Okay-
[III]
Mr. Greenstone?
Hi, I'm Denise.
Twenty-six-inch waist?
Hi. I'm sorry.
Denise.
Of course.
Why don't we go upstairs? I'll show you around.
Um...
Thank you.
The piece I'm working on, Bob Dylan's wife had a son, another kid.
So I'm doing a brief on it.
I could call Vital Records, get his birth certificate.
That would be good.
- Who's up there? - Oh, the editor, Finn.
That's why we call it Finnland.
His last name's Woodhouse.
So if you're in trouble, they call it the Woodshed.
[CHUCKLES]
They're big into color-coding here.
Um... Um...
The paper.
Blue means it's foreign.
Pink means it's out of Washington.
Yellow is anything domestic but not out of D.C.
And green is in-house, meaning here.
- Oh, Cindy, where's Jane? - Yeah?
I don't know.
Can you show our new researcher Denise to personnel?
Thank you.
Yes?
[SPEAKS IN RUSSIAN]
The Training Division received no money for new Russian speakers.
James McCall is the head of the Anti-Soviet desk.
And he is going to be one very grumpy comrade.
Yeah, we tried to get a copy of the birth certificate...
...of course, but we were unable to.
Now I just need to confirm they are spelling Jakob with a K.
Thank you.
Okay. Yeah. Goodbye.
I thought the temp agency sent over your new researcher this morning.
Yeah, they did.
Because it seems like you're taking up valuable time...
...doing tasks she could be doing.
I'm not sure this one's a good fit either.
Why? Did you ask her to do something she couldn't?
No, I just--
The best reporters in the building, I've found, are good at delegating.
Otherwise, nothing would ever get finished.
Thank you. Thank you very much.
Yeah, you too.
- Talk. - The Black Panthers...
...are now public enemy number one.
They're the bad guys who need to be watched.
- Right. - I'll tell Finn.
This gonna be a late night or an early morning?
As much as I would love to have a late night with you, and I would...
...can I come in early tomorrow morning?
Because I'd like to catch the 5 p.m. bus home.
- Oh, sure. Good. - Thank you.
Yes. Go.
I'm gonna talk some sense into Marybeth.
- What? - Or you could give her your blessing.
Actually, I can't because that would be phony.
Then tell her how to live her life.
That's what somebody wants to hear after getting engaged.
I didn't ask for your advice.
[III]
MAN: Sorry, put that away.
- If Sam calls, tell him I'm on my way. - Okay.
Yeah. No.
I'm less interested in who the Bureau is investigating.
I want to know how you're circumventing the Freedom of Information Act...
...so you can do whatever the hell you want.
Finn?
I couldn't find you.
I'm standing in a fishbowl in the newsroom...
...surrounded by professional observers. Open your eyes, Angie.
Talia's cooking tonight. I promised I'd have you home in time for dinner.
That sounds just lovely.
I gave her my word.
You insinuating your word means more than mine?
The girls can't wait to see you.
I can't wait to see them.
That's what I thought.
Finn, this FBI story's hotter than I thought.
NED: That Mona Lisa smile. I mean, what are you thinking?
That I have 28 more captions to write.
[CHUCKLES]
Captions-snaptions. What are you really thinking?
I was thinking about how I hung out with a bunch of groovy women last night.
You must have fit right in.
Can you turn a little to your left?
A little more?
Hold on one sec.
♪ Just to kiss your sweet, sweet lips Baby I
♪ Hold you ever, ever so tight And I wanna say ♪
♪ Say Someday we'll be together I
♪ Oh, yes, we will Yes, we will I
Perfect.
♪ Someday we'll be together' ♪
♪ Yes, we will Yes, we will I
Oh. Ahem.
♪ Someday we'll be together' ♪
♪ Someday we'll be together N'
I've been here less than a week, and I'm already sick of the selection.
Luckily, I'm not there yet.
How's your story?
Oh, it's pretty groundbreaking.
Bob Dylan is naming his son Jakob but with a K.
Kacob.
[CHUCKLES]
No, J-A-K-O-B.
Ahh. That's better.
[CHUCKLES]
Want a Mallo Cup with a C?
No, thanks.
Could you make some calls for me?
I'd be happy to.
[III]
- Hello. - Hiya, doll.
I'm hoping you can help me.
I need to deliver something to the chairman's office.
Unless you have an appointment, leave the item here.
We'll send it up with the next courier.
- When does he go up? - In the next hour or so.
Discretion is of the utmost import. I would never want to put the chairman...
...in a compromising position by making an appointment.
I need to return something to him...
...before his wife visits him later this evening.
[III]
Sam.
Oh, thank God.
- I couldn't remember anything that-- WOMAN: Ahem.
Hi. I'm With him.
MAN: Sam Rosenberg? SAM: Yes, sir. Chairman.
Your secretary can take notes. No tape recorder.
- She-- - Of course.
After you.
My editor Finn Woodhouse said you two go way back.
We don't. He was mistaken.
Oh, well, I thought he said--
Never mind, never mind.
They weren't lying.
Being here is like coming to the dentist.
Who's the patient?
I feel like maybe we got off on the wrong foot. A mulligan?
Well, for starters, how are you going spend...
...your first few days off the clock?
Any family plans?
My wife is planning a vacation to the beach.
She claims she can get me to unwind even if it kills her.
Your children must be thrilled to get some down time with you.
I think that they are.
But I think my wife and children know where my priorities were.
Which brings us to gold.
Inflation is almost 6 percent. The gold standard isn't working anymore.
The dollar remains and will remain convertible into gold.
Do you really believe that...
...a big, modern economy like ours should depend on...
...a shiny yellow rock?
People's faith in the dollar is based on their ability to turn it into gold.
- It's been that way since ancient Greece. - When Apollo controlled the sun.
Sounds like magical thinking.
Superstitions make us feel safe.
That's good for the economy.
- Finn is gonna flip out. - How's this?
Martin admitted he has doubts about the office...
...and said, "Superstitions sometimes inform--"
"Superstitions make us feel safe, and that's good for the economy."
That's what he said.
- We gotta call Finn. - Mm-hm.
- Get in here. - Sam.
I'll need to read him the quotes.
[III]
[LINE RINGING]
You're goddamn beautiful up close.
AN G I E : Finn Woodhouse's office.
- Hey, Angie, is Finn there? It's Sam. - Just a minute, Sam.
Back there felt like a bank heist.
We're Bonnie and Clyde.
Let's rob a bank.
FINN: Talk to me. - Hey, I got him. Finn, I got him.
- What'd he say? - What wouldn't he say?
- You were right. No sense of humor. - Ha. Give me the skinny.
Our fed chairman believes in some black magic.
- No kidding. - Yeah, it's gonna write itself.
[HUMMING]
Okay, boss, I'm headed home.
Sam got an exclusive with the fed chairman.
Good.
Goodnight.
Hey.
Listen.
I would have appreciated a heads up before you took the list over.
Don't need your permission to change up the list.
Not permission.
Courtesy.
A courtesy, especially after what happened last week...
...when my Vietnam story got bumped for the Altamont.
I don't owe you more courtesy this week because we ran another cover last week.
Look, if we get too comfortable...
...like with the Sunday Night List...
...before we know it, you won't have a table at the 21 Club.
- I'm not here to dine. - I know, and I appreciate that.
But dining is part of the job.
We got to stay in the mix. We're no good anywhere else.
We're opinionated sons of bitches who get bored easily.
What would we do without this place?
So you were actually trying to help me.
- Yes, I was. - Yes, you were.
I promised Talia.
- It's like I have two wives. - And no girlfriends.
Oh, Jesus.
- You're here late. - Yeah. You too.
Yeah, well, I'm leaving.
- Do you need anything? - Oh, no, I'm all right. Thank you.
Are you sure?
Ralph always has snacks.
Well, you know all the secrets.
I really do.
[III]
Goodnight.
Who's saying grace?
Patti.
Oh, let Marybeth do it.
Why? Did you forget them all?
No, I did not.
Bless us, O Lord, for these gifts we're about to receive...
...from your bountiful hands. In Jesus' name we pray.
ALL: Amen.
Have you heard about where they're sending you?
- Nothing yet. No. - Can I get some ice in my water?
- Yes. - He can get his own ice, Mom.
I got it. Hey, how many people does that room at the Ramada hold?
I went to a wedding there last fall.
No more than 60, tops.
My family alone is about 100 Irish drunks.
[ALL LAUGH]
I have an aunt and uncle who renew their vows as often as possible...
-...just to throw a party. -"Often."
RANDY: Hm?
You said "off-ten". It's often. You don't pronounce the T.
Okay, Patti, can I talk to you for a minute?
I'm sorry I corrected Randy.
You can be a real bitch.
I have never heard you say that.
Because you're never around. He's a decent guy.
Then why did it take you 45 minutes to say yes to him?
Because I was crying.
I was overwhelmed with happiness.
- What is the rush? Are you pregnant? - No.
No, I just love him.
For God's sake, why can't you just be happy for me?
Because I don't understand what you're doing.
I can't breathe here, Marybeth.
Sometimes I actually cannot breathe.
And then I think about you cooking and cleaning for Randy...
...for the rest of your life, and it doesn't make sense to me.
Remember when you wanted to be a painter?
And we were gonna move to Europe.
And you were gonna stand on the side of the road with an easel?
This is what I want now.
Don't worry about me.
I'm living my dream too, just like you are.
[III]
My dream doesn't feel like I imagined it would.
[GROANS]
Oh, no.
Now I'm worried about you.
What's wrong?
I don't know.
If you could start smoking, that'd make my mooching easier.
Charlie's always got some.
Charlie's one tidy son of a bitch. Heh.
Look at this. You could operate here.
We should do appendectomies right here on his desk as he copy edits.
[CHUCKLES]
Why are you here so late?
We're days away from printing. Where's Robinson?
She had to go home for a family thing.
You two good?
[GROANS]
Depends on the day. She's got a lot of fight in her.
That sounds fun. Wait, what does that mean?
It means I don't know whether I'm gonna get kissed or kicked.
It could be worse. It could be boring.
Boring's sounding really good right now.
Boring is what you marry. Crazy is what you date.
Wise words.
I'm the fucking Dalai Lama, right?
Patti's just trying to get her groove here. She's a hippie astronaut on re-entry.
What are you working on, man?
This FBI story.
It started out as a line item on their budget, but it's got legs.
Tell you what, man, has anybody updated his obituary here?
- Whose obituary? - Hoover.
Fucking son of a bitch is about to go any day now, right?
- How many years... - I hope so.
...has he been doing this? Jesus.
[SIGHS]
Well, I'm gonna sleep like a baby.
That dinner was delicious.
The girls were so excited to have you home for dinner.
- Yeah? - Mm-hm.
- How about you? - Of course.
I was pleasantly surprised that Angie managed to get you--
I made it home, okay?
[III]
Okay, Patti, before I go off to war I have one question for you...
...and I want the God's honest truth.
Cross my heart.
July, 195s.
Did you or did you not...
...intentionally run into the curb to throw me off the handlebars?
Okay, I swear I do not remember...
...but you were such a brat, I might have done it on purpose.
[CHUCKLES]
Are you scared?
I'm gonna have a gun. They better be scared.
- I'd be scared. - Well, what are you gonna do?
Well...
...you could get a IV-F deferment.
At the magazine, we were writing about these guys...
...who would show up to induction centers in clown suits or high on acid.
Some were taking laxatives before their physicals--
I'm not gonna crap my pants to get out of the draft.
It was just a suggestion.
[SIGHS]
Be good to her.
I know that you will be. I just need to say it.
I will.
I'd rather leave her a widow who's taken care of...
...than a girlfriend who isn't.
♪ Feel I'm dying, dying' ♪
♪ Take me back to my old home I'
♪ Oh, mama, gonna go home I'
♪ All my sorrow All my sorrow ♪
♪ Sad tomorrow F
♪ Take me back Take me back I'
♪ To my old home I'
s Oh, my, my, my -'
♪ An my dying 3-'
[GRUNTS]
Hey, Pretty girl.
Hi, there.
Why don't you find out what happens in chapter four tomorrow night?
Lenny, I'm not feeling well.
- I guarantee this will help you feel better. - No, I don't--
Ahem. I don't feel well.
I'm sorry.
[SIGHS]
I'm--
[III]
[CHATTERING]
MAN 1: One, please.
MAN 2: Oh, my God. MAN 3: I tell you what though...
MAN 3: Is it you?
MAN 2: No, I checked. MAN 1: Check.
MAN 2: Check. MAN 1: Gabe.
We good to go?
_Hey, Doug. - Doug.
What just hap--?
Come on.
If I had to say goodbye to you for a long time, or maybe forever, I--
I couldn't handle it, Doug.
And I am so sorry if I made you feel like I don't appreciate you...
...because I do.
- Why do you have a lamp?
I brought it back from my parents' house. And I wasn't very convincing.
She's still gonna marry him.
What?
I don't--
- Man. - What?
What you said this morning...
...how you're worried about your sister...
...being a servant to her husband after she got married--
- No, I said "being of service." - I haven't stopped thinking about that.
To me, you get married because you want to be a team.
And then, I don't know, you figure the rest out together.
And no one keeps score.
But damn, Patti, you drain all the fucking fun out of it.
And then I'm to blame, or because that sounds like a good deal to me...
-...I'm a chump. - I didn't say you were a chump.
It's just, you're too complicated.
You're too complicated for me, Patti.
Right.
And you're not up for the challenge...
...because everything has come easy for you.
I'm not gonna keep trying to convince you I'm a good guy.
[III]
Let me call you a cab.
Taxi!
♪ But I'm near the end S
♪ And I just ain't got the time I'
♪ Oh, and I'm wasted I
♪ And I can't find my way home I'
♪ But I can't find my way home N'
[III]